When I originally placed these big terra cotta pots on either side of my front door, I had big plans for them.
First they would get a nice coat of white wash to age them and make them look like they came from France. Then they were going to be filled with stately boxwoods, mounding flowers and overflowing color. But year after year, they sat.
Procrastination. It seems harmless enough.
But as I popped open paint cans and poured the different colors onto a makeshift palette, I remembered how much I enjoy playing with paints and the seeing the resulting transformation. As I wondered why I don’t paint more often, I realized that it wasn’t just the pots that sat neglected, season after season, year after year.
It was also me.
And frankly, it caught me off guard because I’ve worked on incorporating self-care into my life for the past few years now. You know what I think it is?
The years I spent finding out why my health was failing, making dietary changes, getting counseling, working on my marriage and switching to safer products in my home were layers that had to be peeled back in order to reveal this new layer; the one buried deep within and aching for self-expression.
I will admit, it is scary. Because with every peeled layer, I feel more vulnerable and somehow more courageous; kind of like these newly painted pots, standing proudly at their posts, waiting to be filled up and used to their fullest potential.
See you in class,